New Year's Eve

So I have been pain free which is awesomeee. I think I'm back to decent health. Still have this wonderful cold but it's not as bad anymore.

Today is our last day in New York. We will be traveling back to NC tomorrow morning. We are celebrating the new year by sleeping I'm sure. We're having a nice dinner out with family tonight and then most likely coming back home and falling asleep so we can be up bright and early tomorrow morning.

I'm excited to get back only because there is a lot of preparation that needs to be done for the arrival of our little girl and the deployment of my husband. It will be a very bittersweet beginning to my year.

I'm already in the phase where I'm anticipating Jon's departure. I don't want him to leave but I want to be able to stop worrying if he will be here for Abigail's birth or not. I also would love to be able to start counting down days so I don't feel so far away from him.

I believe we are all set for Abigail's arrival. I finally have everything I think we might need. Of course a good portion of it is here in NY. I have only taken the things I think she will need for her first month to NC. So I really am banking on her being on time and not really early. Fingers crossed.

My dad and step mom got Jon and I beautiful new cameras for Christmas. I am super excited because we both needed them so that we can capture this next year and share our adventures.

Anyways,  I hope everyone has a wonderful new years eve and day!

I Love You Mr. Sykes<3
You too Abigail<3

Semper Fi<3

Haven't posted

I've been mia for a while. I'll keep you updated later on. I was in the ER with Kidney stones but I'm thinking they are all gone now since I feel back to normal. Minus the cold and horrid cough.

I'll tell more later. I just wanted to update you quickly.

Home for the holidays

We are back in NY for Christmas and possibly New Years. I am super busy and most likely wont have any more posts until I get back to NC.

I will leave you with some baby updates though.

As of our last appointment Abigail is growing normally and I do not have gestational diabetes. I will be getting a growth scan every appointment from here on out to make sure she keeps growing properly. We got the ok to travel obviously and that made my day.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. Enjoy!

Christmas Party

So last night Jon and I went to his work Christmas Party. It was a lot nicer than I expected actually.

It was all decorated and lights were dim so that the christmas lights would stand out. They had a lot of really good singers and Santa was there for the little kids.

We had dinner, which wasn't amazing but it meant I didn't have to cook that night. I got to meet a lot of the people Jon works with and had some good laughs.

They had give aways but Jon and I didn't stay for that. We gave our tickets to his friend and left early.

I think all the little kids running around sniffling and coughing got me sick. I came home at 6 and forced myself to stay awake until 8. As soon as I hit the pillow I passed out.

It seemed like everyone had babies. It makes me so excited for Abigail to join us in this world. Plus it got me very excited for Christmas at home!

I've discovered something.

All this time I have hated grocery shopping and I could never quite figure out why. Until now.

I hate grocery shopping so much because I always spend so much and then when I get home I still feel like we have nothing. It doesn't make any sense to me! I got everything on our grocery list and usually fill the entire cart but once it's unpacked it's like nothing. Why is that?

Maybe because I usually am buying ingredients instead of munchy foods. Being pregnant I am always looking for munchy foods and when we don't have them, because I don't buy them, I feel like we have nothing haha.

I'm off to do the horrendous task once again. But I'm not so grumpy about it because I have a short list and it's the last time I'll have to go for 2 weeks since we head home on Saturday!! Yay!

RIP

USMC Cpl. Derek Wyatt died Dec. 6 while serving in Afghanistan. He leaves behind a wife and a newborn son named in his honor, who was born approx. 24 hours after news of his death!


I didn't know him personally, but a friend posted this as her status today to spread awareness that men and women are still dying overseas. 


Those of you who read my blog know that this story hits way too close to home. I'm sure it would to anyone with children and a deployed husband. 


Prayers and thoughts to his family and friends but especially to his incredibly strong wife. For her to get the strength to deliver a healthy baby the day after she finds out her husband has died is a miracle. 

Knock one thing off...

We found out today that we can stay in our current home until we decide to move as long as we send them a 30 day move out notification. Phew.

That's one thing off my list of stresses. I feel a little better now.

Stressed

I was going to say I'm stressed but I think it's beyond that. I think I'm one more minute of thinking about my life from having a complete melt down.

I'm in a constant battle with myself. I know I need to be strong and not let the inevitable get to me. I know that certain things I can't control. None of that changes the fact that I feel like I am on a train ride to hell.

What I mean is that I feel like I can't control anything and everything sucks. I can't help but feel like the main stress in my life is the marine corps. I hate that they are taking my husband away for a year. I hate that he might miss the birth of our first child by one week because he will be in transit to war. I hate that our lease is up in January but I can't move home until March. I really hate that this has crossed my mind but I really hate that my husband didn't discuss joining the marine corps with me before joining. I thought I was over it but with all of this new hell I'm being put through I can't help but think about how the only reason we have to deal with this is because he wanted to join and to this day hasn't given me a straight answer as to why.

I expected hard times once he joined the military, I never expected this.

My mind is going in a million directions right now that I can't even get this post out. I'm writing but my mind is jumbled and I feel like I have so much to say but no idea how to say it.

I took a shower today and just stood there for 30 minutes crying. I feel so alone right now.

I'm paranoid about when Abigail is going to decide to come, if she's growing properly, whether I will be able to have a natural birth or need a cesarean section, and how I"m going to handle everything after she's here. Whenever I try to talk to Jon about it I usually get nothing but one thing he actually has expressed a concern for is the fact that he does not want to cut the umbilical cord. YEA. I'm worried about him even being there and he's worried about having to cut the umbilical cord.

As I said, totally alone.

Today really made me realize how miserable this is all making me. I don't know what to do. I know once I'm home for Christmas I'll be a lot more relaxed but as soon as we head back here I'm going to start freaking out again.

Part of me wishes I could just move home now and have a lot less to worry about. I know it's not possible, I can't fix any of this.

Fairy God Mother

Wouldn't it be awesome to actually have a fairy god mother? She could swoop in whenever you needed help or were wishing so hard for something to come true and poof, make it happen.

I know I need to stop stressing about whether or not my husband will be home when Abigail is born but I can't. It's just so awful to think about. We give and give in every aspect of our lives to the military, why can't they just give us a break for once?

I don't know how it's even possible to have as much bad timing as we do. January 22nd our lease on this house is up. We have to see if we can stay here monthly until March most likely. The problem with that is that we know that the people who own the house are getting a divorce and the word is that their cousin is going to be moving into this house. We just don't know when. So we are waiting to hear news on that.  Our other option is to move back to Topsail where we first lived almost a year ago just for the end of January, February and possibly into March. That would be easier on us because the place is furnished so we can put everything into storage that isn't coming back to NY with me which will make moving after the baby a whole lot easier. Plus, we would have an extra bedroom fully furnished for my mom when she comes down. Right now we have an extra bedroom but no bed so kind of pointless.

The problem with that option is that we don't know if they will allow us to come back since our dog is now over 45 lbs. Even though he is the most well behaved dog I have ever met and wouldn't be a problem what so ever. Hopefully we will see soon.

That is bad timing number 1. Bad timing number 2 is Jonathan deploying, as of right now in what looks like, the last week of February. He seems pretty positive on it but we all know the military and how they like to switch things up at the last minute.

This is horrible timing because our baby girl, our first child, is due March 8. Yea. Seriously. Cutting it that close makes me miserable thinking about it.

My mom will be here for the birth so it's not that I'm worried about going through it alone. I'm just extremely sad that there is a really good possibility that my husband wont be there to see her before he deploys.

I feel like my life is turning into a lifetime movie.

After Abigail is born I plan on moving back to NY. Hopefully within 3 weeks of her being born. My mom, MIL, and grandma have all agreed to come down here to help me move home which I'm so thankful for. We just need to decide the best method of doing that which is another stressful thing to think about.

Not only do I have to worry about my husband deploying for the first time, for a whole friggin year btw, but also about giving birth to our first baby without him. That is way too much on one plate. Seriously.

I know that other women have gone through a deployment and given birth to their baby while their husbands are over seas. How the heck do you do it?

Part of me wants to just move back to NY right now and just focus on having Abigail there where I know I can focus on her after she's born instead of having to move 13 hours north with her.

The sane part of me knows that my husband is here and I need every spare minute I can get with him before he leaves me for a year.

This would be so much easier if our lease wasn't up a month before my husband deploys. Or if I had a fairy god mother to make everything all better.

I know this was a huge pitty party but it helps to leave some stress in this blog.

Thanks for reading.