Sunday, December 27, 2009

Last week!!

This is the last week before Jonathan and I are married!! He came home and surprised us all for Christmas. I thought I had to wait until Wednesday to see him but he came a week early!! He had to go back this morning but he will be flying back Wednesday and we're getting married SATURDAY!!!! I am sooooooo excited!! I could not ask for a more wonderful man to be my husband. He is my everything<3 He makes me smile by just looking at me, when he kisses me my whole body shakes, and when he holds me I can feel myself falling for him all over again.

In 5 days I get to marry my soul mate<3 I am the luckiest girl in the world<3

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Semper Fi<3

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

16 days??!???!??!?!?!

It feels like every time I check at least 2 more days have flown by me. Next week is Christmas and the weekend after that I will be getting married!!! It's so crazy to think about.

This Friday is my last day at Champlain College. I wish I could say I was sad but honestly, I am so beyond excited! I'm going to miss the awesome people I met while I was here but I can't wait to meet the girls I already feel close with in NC.

In just over 2 weeks I will be Mrs. Jonathan Christopher Sykes. WHAT??!??!?!!? This is sooo ridiculous!!!! I never thought this day was going to come. It feels like Jon just left for boot camp and now here we are finally getting married and moving to North Carolina! It's so amazing. I can't believe I finally get to tie this amazing man down and keep him forever. I know he reads this and normally I would tell you not to let things I say go to your head but, Jon, by all means go ahead and gloat about this one.

You are the most amazing man I have ever met and surely will ever meet. 2 years ago we were discussing how I would move down and go to college in North Carolina so that we could be together. Now, 2 years later after you moved back home, we are moving back to North Carolina together, as husband and wife. It's crazy how everything works out exactly how its supposed to. It feels like every day I love you a little bit more. Yea, we have our tough spots just like every other couple, but the difference is that after every disagreement we end up appreciating and loving each other more. All it takes is that cute little smile of yours and I melt in your arms.

I could write about how much I love you all night and still not cover it. You know that its more than love. Its like we were meant to be together. It feels like our souls complete one another. I cannot wait to be able to walk down that isle, read my vows (which better make you cry ;-) and say I do. You're my always, my forever, my everything. (I said it, believe it <3)

OK so I didn't mean for this to become and I Love You fest but I am just SO EXCITED to finally be marrying the man of my dreams! Absolutely the best feeling in the world. Until I get to say I do. Then I'll completely retract that statement.


Semper Fi<3

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Haven't posted in a while

I know I haven't been on here in a while. I'm sorry for those of you who actually read this. I have been beyond stressed lately. One week of classes left. Then a week of finals. AHHHH! Plus, there are only 25 days left until I am married!! Like WOAH! So much to do in such a short period of time.

I went to visit Jon for Thanksgiving. I drove down Tuesday morning and got there Tuesday night! It was awesome because I got a whole extra night with him. It was amazing spending every minute with him. I really needed it. We did our usual play fights and had an actual good go at it. But over all it was just an amazing time. The best part was that I was supposed to leave Sunday but my plane ticket got confused and it was actually for MONDAY!! I got a whole extra day and night with him!! It was amazing! We both wished that morning at 11:11 for more time together. We swear that's what did it. We're total believers haha.

Anyways, after all of that I had to come back to school. YUCK. School is stressing me out beyond belief! I am so ready for next semester and the remaining semesters I have. They will all be online which makes me a very happy camper! I've always known I was not the classroom setting type of learner. I like to do things on my own at my own pace in my own time.

I will be in North Carolina January 4th. We're leaving the day after our wedding to move down since he has to be back to check in the afternoon of the 4th. I am sooo excited to move down there with him. We can get rid of this distance at least for a little while.

I am not sure if there is anything else on my mind tonight. I just had to get back on here. I was having blog withdraw haha. I hope all those marine girls are staying strong, same for the rest of the girlfriends, fiances and wives of those who serve.

Stay Strong. Semper Fi<3

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I'm going to miss Burlington...

This is overlooking Lake Champlain from Perkins Pier in Burlington, VT. It is absolutely breathtaking.
This is also Lake Champlain. It has different colors and textures but still just as gorgeous. This was a couple nights before the one previous to it.

Same spot, different angle. This was a the night after the one above it.

This is from my dorm room window while I was in Burlington over the summer. Such an amazing view.

Sunsets never fail to amaze me with how gorgeous they are. All different and all make you take a step back and remember how wonderful life is. The first sunset I posted is my favorite. The way it's captured brings a calming affect to it. Staring at it makes me forget all the stress in my life and just take a nice deep breath in and out. I am definitely going to miss it here.

Semper Fi<3

Friday, November 13, 2009

Bridal Shower Tomorrow!!

This will be a short one I just wanted to say how excited I am for tomorrow!!!!
Bridal shower means closer to the wedding day!! This whole thing is going to be a surprise for me! Sooo excited!!! After the shower my maid of honor and one of my bridesmaids and I are having a girls night!! I am in such a deserate need one one!
Anyways. Definitely excited :-)
Ill hopefully have pictures up after tomorrow!

Semper Fi<3

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Rest In Peace Super Hero<3

To the left is Ryan Michael Goes. He's one hell of a guy, one hell of a fighter, one hell of a friend. You will be forever loved, missed, and remembered. Keep those baby blues watching over us super hero<3 We all need to know you're still going to be hanging around from time to time<3

Rest in peace super hero<3 No more pain<3

Monday, November 2, 2009

My heart, my world, my everything<3

Today I am in one of those moods. The one where all you want to do is be right there next to him with his arms wrapped tight around you. I'm not really sad though. We have 2 months from today until we are getting married! :-) I can't even describe how happy that makes me.

Lately I have been thinking about how people show their love or express it. I remember before I fell in love I thought love was the best word ever. I wanted to be in love, to feel love, really anything to do with love. Now that I have found the love of my life I feel like that word just doesn't cover it. When I say I Love You Jonathan I feel like it should be followed by something. "I Love You, you are such an amazing person." "I Love You, everything you are is everything to me." SOMETHING. I Love You doesn't cover how I feel about him. I feel like I am missing it. Missing the one thing I can do or say that will be like YES!! That is it. That is what I want you to know. That is exactly how I feel.

Maybe it's not meant to be described. Maybe their aren't words to cover how I feel because the best part about being someone's soul mate is knowing they feel the exact same way. No explanation needed. The feelings I get when I am with him, close to him, or even just thinking about him make me feel like he knows exactly what I feel.
Thinking about him I smile, seeing him I get warm all over, touching him I feel complete and kissing him I melt.

I just completely and fully love him. He is my everything. None of this probably made any sense to anyone because it was just a whole lot of feelings thrown into one blog. Oh well.

I Love You Jonathan Christopher Sykes<3 I can't wait to be your wife<3

Semper Fi<3

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hurry up already!

I just realized that this weekend is Halloween already!! And Jonathan's birthday of course<3 That means that next week Jon graduates from MOS and joins the fleet!! Woohoo!! It feels like it has been forever. After this week I have 7 weeks of classes left. 1 of which I have off for Thanksgiving!!! The first 8 weeks of the semester flew by. I hope the last 7 do the same. Only 66 days left until Jon and I are married!! Then I'll be moving down to NC!!!! I cannot express how incredibly excited I am! Not only do I get to be in my favorite state but I get to be married to the most incredible man and see him more than once every couple months!! (until he deploys anyways) Pray that time flies by for me. I can already see myself not coming back for the last 2 weeks of classes after Thanksgiving break haha.

Semper Fi<3

Friday, October 23, 2009

Premarital counseling?

Our church requires us to have premarital counseling before were allowed to get married there. Because Jon is in North Carolina and I am in Vermont we can't exactly do that. SOOOO instead we were both sent a book to read. It's called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I'll admit, I was nervous. I didn't know what book was coming my way. Luckily I found the book incredibly good and so did Jon.

By love languages he means the way we express that we love our significant other and how we feel loved. Everyone is at least one of the five. They are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Jon and I knew right off the bat that he was physical touch. Most guys are. He can't go five minutes without holding my hand to having his arm around me. Which I don't mind at all considering one of my 3, yes 3, is physical touch as well.

As I was reading I couldn't figure out which one I was. When I took the assessment in the back I 3 way tied with words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch. One is supposed to dominate over the other but I can't see myself feeling completely loved without any one of them. Luckily physical touch and words of affirmation involve quality time so its a win win, win.

Before reading this book I never thought about arguing or fighting like this. The reason most people argue in a marriage is because they are not speaking the other ones love language. It might sound like a bunch of hoo ha but really its incredible. If your husband or wife feels loved when you tell them how much you love them or how great she is, if you stop doing that then they wont feel loved. If they he feels loved when you put your hand on his shoulder when you walk by or run up and hug him when he gets home, and you stop doing that, then he wont feel loved. If a person doesn't feel loved then they start to pull away. Hence, a lot of cheating and fighting in marriages.

He also says that the "in love" feeling wears off. Once it does love becomes your choice which makes it even better. When you are choosing to love someone it's more intense and heartfelt then if you just feel connected for a while. Jon and I still believe we're soul mates but we also chose to love one another. We've already made it past the "in love" phase and have moved on to the incredible love we have today because since he joined the marines we had to chose to love one another. I never thought about it that way but I love thinking that he chose me<3

I don't know if I explained it as well as he did but really it's an eye opening book. Both Jon and I enjoyed reading it and figuring out what made us feel loved so that we could stay in this love forever. Lucky for us we already do everything that makes us feel loved. For the future in case we forget though it will always be in the back of our minds.

I recommend reading it, even if there isn't trouble in paradise. It will most likely prevent it.
Happy readings!

Semper Fi<3

Thursday, October 15, 2009


Jon found out today where we will be living for the next 3 years.


Jon got stationed at Lejune so I will be moving with him soon!! :-)
That's all for now. 78 days until I'm Mrs. Sykes<3

Semper Fi<3

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


This weekend Jonathan and I decided we were going to write our own vows. I am soooo excited!! I know he is going to make me cry so my goal is to make him at least have 1 tear :-)
I'm not sure where to start or how long or anything like that but I'm starting them tonight, hopefully.

I got to spend an amazing 3 day weekend with the love of my life. What better time to write down my love for him.

Semper Fi<3

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

3 days left

It's been roughly 3 and 1/2 months since I have seen Jon. I know it's no deployment and we have been able to talk for most of it but I still am sooo excited that the torture is almost over. For now at least. All I can thinking about is seeing him in the airport for the first time in months. I haven't figured out how I am going to react yet. I suppose it's not something I can plan ahead for. Sometimes just thinking about it makes me weak and I feel as if I am going to faint. Other times I get really excited and smile for hours. This will be my first experience meeting him at the airport. You know, the movie scene where the hero comes home to his wife after being gone for what felt like eternity. They run into each others arms and he picks her up and swings her around while locked in what seems to be an everlasting kiss. Who ever says that only happens in movies has obviously never loved a Marine. When I saw Jonathan for the first time after boot camp I lost my breath and couldn't move. I just stood there staring at the guy who has been writing to me for 3 months. The guy who looked nothing like he did when he left me. The guys who I have always been and will always be completely in love with. Then his mom gave me a shove and that's all it took to have me running into his arms.

That day made me realize that no matter what we had to go through we were going to make it. When I got to see him for the first time I knew that I was never going to be able to be without him. I would rather share him with the Marines for a few years then not have him at all. So many people say that their significant other is their everything but I honestly mean it. He is my strength, he is my weakness, he is my love, and he is my anger. Jon is the reason I am who I am and the reason I have become a better person. I have never loved anyone else and I never will. I believe that there is that one other person you are supposed to be with, your soul mate. I know that we are meant to be together. The first time I saw him way back in high school I couldn't stop staring. It was like something was telling me that I needed him in my life but not just yet. Whatever that feeling was I am so glad it stuck around.

After all this rambling my point is that in 3 days I will finally be with my fiance. Scratch that. I feel as if the word fiance was made up for those people who stay engaged for years and years because they are scared of that commitment of forever. I don't need a ring or a piece of paper to know that Jonathan and I are married. January 2, 2010 it will be official but with or without that date Jonathan is my husband. He is my other half. He is the person I have already vowed to spend the rest of my life with because he is the only person who will ever make me feel so complete and so in love.

In 3 days I finally get to be truly happy again<3

Semper Fi<3

Monday, October 5, 2009

oh college....

I have 3 roommates. 1 of which is an immature, selfish, self-absorbed, spoiled, bratty, biooootchhhhhhh. Our room is 3 vs. 1. The only way we can get this girl out is by her saying she wants to leave. We don't know what to do. I have anxiety attacks just thinking about going into my room. When I do walk into my room I feel as if I'm walking into HER room. If you so much as look at her things she starts a fight. It's beyond ridiculous. I don't need this. I want to be in North Carolina with Jon :-(

4 more days until I see him!!! I pick him up at the airport midnight on Friday!! I cannot wait to be with him. He always makes me feel better no matter what the problem is. It's been wayyyy too long since we've been together. Life just isn't the same without him.

I just have to make it until December and then this awful roommate with be gone and I will be getting married to the most incredible man<3
Life is pretty damn good<3 (minus the roommate haha)

Semper Fi<3

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Ok so I haven't posted in a while...

I have been extremely busy with wedding plans and taking every free minute of that to do my work and talk to Jon. It's an unbelievably crazy schedule! Let me catch everyone up real quick.

Jonathan is still in NC waiting for pick up for MOS. He should be picked up within the next week or so. (CROSS OUR FINGERS!!) I am hesitant to post this because I am apparently superstitious BUT I am too excited not to. HE IS COMING HOME IN 12 DAYS!!!! At midnight on Friday October 9 the love of my life is going to be getting tackled in the airport :-) I am so excited and happy I finally get to see him again. We have both been getting frustrated way too quickly lately. We need to work on that but I know that seeing each other will make it all better for a while.

I also have more wedding details planned! As you know I have my dress, the flower girl and ring bearer (my little sisters are going to do both) have their dresses, I have my veil and headpiece, I have my caterer and menu set, I have the reception venue set,the photographer is set and she just so happens to be Jon's amazing sister :-), the table settings are taken care of, the decorating is taken care of, the music is almost taken care of, the registry is being put together, MY DAD IS COMING TO THE WEDDING!!!!! :-), and lots of other things that I'm forgetting because it's still too early for me.

So yea, things are definitely looking better :-) Staying strong and pushing through, that's what the marine wives do<3

Semper Fi<3

Monday, September 14, 2009

Well what do you know...

The Marines have once again said Jon can't come home. I hate that things seem like a sure thing and of course, aren't. I hate the marine corps.

Semper Fi<3

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I get to see the love of my life this weekend!!!

Jonathan is coming home this week for 2 weeks of RA which means that I get to spend 2 weekends with the love of my life!!!!! I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!! He was going to come home this weekend but ended up not being able to. I was going to pick him up from the airport and then surprise everyone at home but that's a bust haha. It's alright though because I still get to see him!!

Just thought I would share my excitement! I miss him so much I can hardly contain myself! I am going to tackle him when I see him :-)

Loving life<3
Semper Fi<3

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I am so in love<3

Last night I spent somewhere around 5 hours or so video chatting with Jonathan. It was so amazing. I am so thankful for technology haha. Being able to see him laugh and watch his face change with everything that's said makes me so incredibly happy. I know I can't be right next to him for a little while but feeling like I am is almost as good.

I'm praying every night and crossing my fingers that Jonathan can get RA in the next couple weeks. Then he will get to come home for a month!! I will still be 3 hours away from him since I'm at college but that's nothing to drive when I know he'll be waiting for me<3 Just the thought of being able to run into his arms makes my heart skip a beat and puts a smile on my face.

I was asked the other day why I chose to be with Jon knowing that he was in the marines. I laughed at them because I knew they had never been in love. You don't have a choice with love. I can't really describe the feeling but it's a little like magnets. You can pull us apart but we still belong together. He chose to be in the marines and I support him because I love him. No matter what either of us decides to do we both know that we have the other for support. That's how love works. There are obstacles but no dead ends.

I can't help but smile when I think about how much he means to me. It's incredible really. So for anyone who is wondering why we're crazy enough to stay strong for our men it's because you don't mess with love. It's only once in a life time and I'd be crazy to give it up.

Semper Fi<3

Friday, September 4, 2009

Just a little jealous...

I am boycotting Facebook right now. Every time I sign on I see that yet another girl gets to be with her marine. I am so jealous that I'm angry. I went 3 months without seeing him during boot camp with no phone calls or texts or anything. I can't even go 2 months without him and we text and talk all day long. I don't know what's wrong with me but I really wish I was stronger right now.

Don't get me wrong. I am so happy for everyone who gets to spend time with their marine. I know my time will come. It's just looking like I wont see Jon again until our wedding lol. I think the idea of a 13 months deployment just around the bend is getting to me too. I mean 13 months??!?!?! Like COME ON!!! I feel like they aren't so much after the terrorists but my emotional health as well!

I need to snap out of it and get some strength but it's so hard to get my bearings in a new place that I'm still semi uncomfortable in. I feel like I need to take a drive home this weekend just so I can have a 3 hour cry without people thinking I'm crazy. But oh well. I am crazy. I'm crazy in love with my fiance and he just so happens to be a marine so I think I have the right to a little crazy time.

As of right now it's somewhere around 3 months and 20 days or so until I see Jon again. I guess I can live with that. I wish my roommates would all go away this weekend so I can have a huge break down. Then I would be good to go for at least a month or more. haha.

Trying to stay strong, failing, but picking myself back up each time.

Semper Fi<3

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Grind

I had my first experience with the open mike night at Champlain called The Grind. There were some flops and some spectacular almost magical moments. Eric Vincent hands down stole my musical heart tonight haha. He is in my marketing class and up until tonight I thought he was just another student but this guy is one amazing musician. He played a couple songs tonight, all of which made me want to hear more.
Also there were a couple guys from my dorm, Summit. They were awesome as well. They have been playing out on the front yard for a couple days now and they are really awesome. Strangely they all look alike which I find weird and cool at the same time.
I can't wait until next week to go again. College really does rock.

Semper Fi<3

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

First blog from CHAMPLAIN!!

I moved into my dorm Friday morning. Luckily I was the first to arrive because let me tell you it was a full out brawl when the last girl arrived! Her mother apparently did not like the room design so she wanted to draw straws for who got the "shitty" bed. It was a whole lot of drama that the roomies and I figured out amongst ourselves later that night. Oh, by the way, I have 3 other roommates. Yes, 3. We are in a tiny quad. We made it work though.
I have my wall dedicated to my wonderful fiance<3 Jon is currently at Camp Lejeune, NC and will be there until December. We talk everyday but it is really difficult being so far away from him and starting a new experience without him. This was a big WELCOME TO THE MARINE LIFE smack in the face for me. lol.
It is amazing how independent you become without even realizing it. I guess college will do that to you but so will having your other half 1,000 miles away from you. I picked a really amazing college though. The area and atmosphere makes it almost impossible to be upset. If I'm having a bad day I just look out my window and I can just see the mountains and Lake Champlain and I immediately feel relaxed.
I often find myself thinking about other women who have gone through this. You know, the whole being with a marine while being without your marine thing. If they can do it so can I. If I can do it then maybe that will give at least one other couple a little more hope. Things could always be worse. I figure I'm living in a beautiful college town, surrounded by friends, and experiencing what is supposed to be the best years of my life. I miss Jonathan more than a lot of people will ever miss anyone but I know he is missing me too.

I am going to use something that one of my teachers told us on the first day of class yesterday.
Go beyond the Fuck It. YES, that's swearing. I was shocked that a teacher would swear too but hey, its college and he didn't wear shoes either so I think he's well past the norm. What he was saying is that everything is better once you get tot he point where you just throw up your hands and say well..Fuck it. From here on out I am diving into whatever is thrown at me and enjoying it for all it's worth. I am going to enjoy the dreaded papers and smile at the thought of learning something new. Fuck it, I'm enjoying life.

Another little note of inspiration that I remembered from a speech I heard from Tammy Trent is that everyday you should open your eyes and see the beauty in front of you. She said "Today, I see beautiful." Every time I say that or hear it I get chills. I often forget this and just have those days where no matter what happens you feel like you just want to crawl into bed and never leave. I am going to make the best of every situation and see the beauty in everything.

No more sad Bre.
Fuck it, I see beautiful.

Semper Fi<3

Monday, August 24, 2009

It's been awhile...(edited)

I haven't posted in a long time because I have been sooooo BUSY!! I have wedding planning, a class finishing up, and packing to do! Surprisingly I am not overwhelmed, just super busy! I have a lot done for my wedding already and it still feels like I have a million more things to do! I actually do have a million more things to do but since I won't know the for sure date for a little bit I have to hold off. I have my dress headpiece and veil, the bridal party's dresses, the guys tuxes are picked out but not ordered yet, we know what church we want to get married at, I have my centerpieces about 1/2 complete, I have a favor idea in mind, OMG I NEED SHOES!!, Jon's sister is doing the photography which is absolutely incredible!!! (I'll post pictures after so everyone can see how amazing she is), I have an idea of what the reception will look like and what will be served, the wedding cake is being designed as we speak, and my invitations are picked out and ready to be printed! I think I got everything in there. Anyways I still need to find a reception venue, music, and caterer. Which if you look at it is only 3 things but they are the biggest things. Military wedding planning is an art let me tell you.

Semper Fi<3

Monday, August 17, 2009

Web cam!

I am so glad that someone decided to invent web cams. After months of not seeing Jon I got to talk to him for hours and look at all the cute little faces he makes when he is doing something. The entire time we were talking we both here sitting up. His roommates even jumped in every now and then. ha. At the end I had to lay down cause my bum was hurting so he laid down too. My heart hasn't gone that fast since I last saw him. It was like we were 5 feet apart. I had to keep reminding myself that if I leaned in to kiss him I'd get a face full of screen. Every day I am happy because everyday I wake up knowing he loves me and knowing how much I love him but last night I was the happiest I have been in such a long time. Just being able to see him smiling and watch him squint his eyes when hes reading or bite his nails, even though I hate it I missed it. I couldn't stop smiling the entire time. Thank you web cam and Skype!

Semper Fi<3

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bring on the stress!

If you have read the previous post you know that Jonathan and I are getting married in December!! WOO HOO! Wedding planning is so exciting, to an extent. Most of the time you are pulling your hair out wondering which design or color to go with. The fun stuff is picking out your dress and your bridal party's dresses. Since this is obviously my first wedding I have no idea what I am doing. Thank god my mom, soon to be mother in law, and bridesmaids know a thing or two or else I'd be hiding in my room forever.
I only have 4 months to plan this wedding. I like it though. That means my decisions have to just get made which is how I like to do them. Nothing gets dragged out and everything can get done quicker. I have already found and purchased my dress! It is a Oleg Cassini princess dress. It was over $1,000 marked down to $300. I loooove sales! It fit me absolutely perfectly so I didnt even need to get alterations done. Once again WOOHOO! I would put a link on here but Jonathan has this page bookmarked and there is noooo way he is seeing this dress before the wedding.
Other than that my only progress is who my bridesmaids are, their dresses are picked out but not my maid of honors. The whole problem right now is that we dont have an exact date so I cant book a venu. Ladies, this we can thank the marines for. haha. Oh well. I am just going to work as hard as I can at getting as much as I can done without a date. OR I am going to just pick a day and hope for the best. HA!

Wish me luck!

Semper Fi<3

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Jonathan and I are getting married when he is home for Christmas on leave! I am so excited!! 4 months and I will be his wife!! :-)

They got it so right...

Rascal Flatts always get the lyrics so perfect. Just listening to this song makes me feel like he is still right here with me.

When you light those candles
Up there on that mantle, setting the mood
Well, I just lie there staring
Silently preparing to love on you
Well, I can feel the heat from across the room
Aint it wild what a little flame
Can make you wanna do

I melt everytime you look at me that way
It never fails, anytime, any place
This burn in me is the coolest thing I've ever felt
I melt

Don't know how you do it
I love the way I lose it, everytime
Whats even better
Is knowing that forever you're all mine
The closer you get, the more my body aches
One little stare from you is all it takes

Evertime you look at me that way
I melt, I melt

Just thought I would share.

Semper Fi<3

Sunday, August 2, 2009

It's like crack.

We all know that "civilian" girls have no idea what our lives are like. Their biggest concern is if their boyfriend will be on time for the movies and ours is if he will come home alive. What I have never thought of is people who not only have never been in our position but have never been in love. Those are the people who really wonder why on earth we would go through this. Those people are my parents. (Mainly my father). My parents have been divorced since I was 6. As far as I know they have never found their true loves. Ever heard the saying "love is like crack" ? That actually holds some truth. When you are in love your brain gets stimulated in a similar reaction that crack would have. This is why when you're in love you are always happy and feel crazy feelings that you have never experienced before. The only clause in this is that it only happens with your first love and never again. Your brain is immune to it once it has been exposed. (Information courtesy of my pathetically boring summer neuroscience class).
People who have never had this first love feeling could never come close to understanding what Jonathan and I have. Not only do we have the bond of being a couple in the military but we have the bond of being each others first loves. Have you ever seen, or read Twilight? Edward Cullen says to Bella "You're like my own brand of heroin." Well close enough. When you find the one person you are supposed to be with you feel like your are almost addicted to them right? Right.
I truly hope everyone gets to experience this feeling. Perferably by avoiding crack and finding love. I look at my parents completely differently now knowing that they are only judgemental because they are ignorant to my situation. I have a feeling if they ever read this I will get an ear full but hey, blogs are about emotion and feelings. These are my feelings about my emotions and I'm putting them in my blog so everyone can either relate or hate. Jonahtan is my crack and I am proud to say that<3

Semper Fi<3

Friday, July 31, 2009

Unecessary stress.

I got a text from Jonathan this morning saying that the pain was unbearable and that he was going to the docs. He told me earlier that he had hurt his leg while at MCT but just let it go. Well it turns out that he has a torn quad. I immediately freaked out wondering if he was ok, what was going to happen, how long he would be out for, blah blah blah. Well he just played it off like it was nothing and said that he talked the doctor down to only 10 days of light duty. I swear men have no idea how crazy they make us. A torn quad sounds pretty awful to me but apparently it isn't that bad. I think it's just the marine way of thinking. If you're hurt you're worthless so don't let anyone know you're hurt. LAME. If you have a fiance at home worried sick about you then you better do what you're told and take a friggin break!!
As far as I know he is fine. He probably wont tell me when he is hurt ever again and he will probably lie when he is hurt but I'd just rather not know anyways. If it is really serious, ok go ahead and let me know. If I am going to freak out for no reason then just don't bother sending me on a panic attack.
So Jon is fine he just has to take it easy for 10 days. I'll keep posted if that happens or not.
I love him to death but he is a little stubborn sometimes.

Semper Fi<3

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Just thinking...

I often find myself thinking about some of the most random things. Today while I was in class I started thinking about how I felt when Jonathan told me he was joining the marines. Needless to say I was completely terrified. We actually broke up for a little while because of it. Once we realized life wasn't worth it without each other we grew up and decided to face this together. Anyways, back to my daydreaming. After that I thought about how I felt while Jon was in boot camp. Once again completely terrified but not in the same way. More so that I was not going to hear from him or something was going to go wrong and he would get hurt. I think the fact that he stayed positive almost the entire time kept me thinking on the bright side. He always calls me his rock but really it's the other way around. There are so many girlfriends, fiance's and wives who focus on the fact that this is going to be so unbearable difficult that they can't see the big picture. I'm not saying this isn't hard. Oh boy is it hard. Being away from Jonathan for the majority of a year is not exactly plan A but if I decide to focus on the positives then the negatives stay out of my mind. Ok so here are a list of all the positives I can think of.

You appreciate eachother more than ever before.
Each day you love eachother more.
The fights that used to happen don't anymore because we don't waste our time on pointless arguments.
You get to write letters which allow you to take the time and write some of the most amazing things you will ever hear your man say. (And you have proof forever that he did actually say them!)
If you can be apart then you can be together. If you can last being away from eachother then you can last even longer once you get to be together.
You get lots and lots of pictures and so does he. Photo albums will fill your house and you will be so thankful for them later.
If you go through boot camp with your marine then you have a stronger connection with him than you can even imagine.
I'd say you make amazing friends with the other marine girlfriends, fiance's and wives but friends doesn't cover it. Sisters for life<3
You give up being with them all the time but you gain so much more.
Most women hate what their men do for a living. We are proud each and every day that the men we love, love us enough to fight for our freedom.
One look at him in uniform and I melt<3 (Camis preffered<3 haha)
We get our first kiss over and over and over again.
When he says he loves you, it makes your heart beat that much faster than before.

Ok so that was a little more than a few but it's still not all I have. I'm sure anyone can think of more. I mean even that, how many civilian boys can offer that? NONE. I wish I could go back in time and smack myself for almost ruining something I am so thankful for. I love the relationship that Jonathan and I have and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The distance has made our love unbreakable and I have never been happier. I am proud to say that I wait for him because he is waiting for me too.

My love, my life, my hero, my marine<3

Semper Fi<3

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The recent decision...

Jonathan just recently graduated from MCT (yesterday to be exact). We have been able to talk on the phone every day since sunday which has been AMAZING! We talk about everything which really makes it feel like he isn't even gone. Our most important conversation right now is when we are going to get married. He proposed in February but we never set a date. It's gone from August 2011 to after his first deployment to as soon as we can. We've both thought about it a lot and we were pretty set on waiting to get married until I finished my bachelors in 2011 but once he could talk to me after MCT he told me that he really wants to get married before he deploys. He actually said he was jealous of all the guys who got married on boot leave. I thought that was really cute because he was mad because he doesn't think they have a love like we do and why should they have been able to get married when we can't? haha. He's adorable<3 Anyways, the newest decision seems to be that we are going to get married as soon as we can. Just a simple court house wedding. From the start I've kind of leaned towards waiting to get married but then I realized that was so that it didn't seem like we were rushing things because of the Marines. After living as a marine fiance and going through boot camp and MCT I realize why people get married quickly. Jonathan and I are getting married reguardless of when and where. We were engaged before the Marines and we will be married after this is all over. He is really worried about us not being married by the time he deploys. He wants to make sure I have power of attorney and be on his life insurance and get his benefits so that he knows I am being taken care of while he is gone. It sounds so house wifey haha. I would feel really awful not being married before he deploys though. I know I would regret it once he went over seas. Wives have way more privledges than girlfriends or fiances do. I feel almost as if we would get more communication if we were married than if we weren't. Oh well anyways, that is our most recent decision so as of right now keep watching for the blog post saying "I"M MRS. JONATHAN SYKES!!!"

My hero, my love, my marine, my everything<3

Semper Fi<3

Monday, July 27, 2009

Just realized....

Jonathan and I got to talk all day today on our cell phones. It was amazing. After we had to say goodbye for the night I really started thinking about how Jonathan and I got to this point of just absolute happiness. I just realized that this really wasn't my choice or Jonathan's choice. I honestly believe that we are meant to be together. All the times I have sat in church and wondered why so many people have had first hand experiences with God and umm HELLOO!!!
If I were to explain Jonathan and my relationship from start to finish it would take a long, long time with lots of ups, downs, and spin arounds. I'll just say that we were off and on because of timing, immaturity, and just being stupid. Jonathan has always told me he loves me and I have always said it too but the whole experience I am talking about was the day, no, the moment that I really knew that I love Jon. I am not kidding you when I say moment. We were just sitting around and BAM! I swear I have a knew found empathy for the little cartoons with the light bulps randomly popping on over their heads. That is exactly what it felt like. I got an immediate feeling of just pure love. Not just the feeling to say I Love You but the feeling that Jonathan means more to me than I mean to myself, that I would absoultely do anything and everything to be with him and that I was finally complete because my other half was sitting right next to me.
Now I'm not sure if this is how it is for everyone, if in one moment when you are completely just not expecting it love hits you in the face, but wow. I have always been told that God has a plan for me but never have I ever felt like I was being reassured that the decisions I was making were the ones he wanted me to make until this moment. It really was the kick in the pants I needed to make this relationship permanent instead of off and on.
If moments like that only happen once in a life time then I am so happy that was mine. I don't know how any of the other Marine girlfriends, fiances, or wives feel when they are with their men but let me tell you a simple text messages makes my heart beat fast and my knees go weak.

So really the point of this emotional post was to share my moment. I will never ask God for anything ever again because he has given me everything I need.

Semper Fi<3

Sunday, July 26, 2009


I finally got a call from Jonathan after 3 weeks of nothing! Some tards in his platoon messed it up for the rest of them so he couldn't call last weekend. HE LOVES MY TATTOO!!! Thank god! He actually wants me to put his name or initials in it so YAY! I'm really happy about that. His MOS was changed from 0451 to 0481 which is landing support specialist. He will be at Camp Johnson/Camp Lejeune for only 7 weeks of MOS school!! That's fantastic! I will know by hopefully thursday if he will be able to come home for recruiters assistance next month. I'm praying for a yes! Apparently the mail system is backed up becuase he has not gotten all of my letters. He said he thought I was upset or angry or something because I was not writing. What a silly idea that is. Well, actually since I havn't heard from him in 3 weeks I thought the same thing haha. Oh well. I am soooo incredibly happy!!! I love my fiance so much!!!!

Semper Fi<3

Friday, July 24, 2009

This one's for the "Marine Girlfriends."

I put the title in quotes because there has been one girl in particular on the USMC gals site that I am a part of who has recently been overjoyed with the fact that her Marine might not ever deploy. While I can't exactly hate her for her enthusiasm on the idea I can loathe the way she talks about it. Her marine wants to deploy. He feels like he is missing out on not going and all she can say to that is that she doesn't understand why he is sad about not deploying. I don't know, maybe it's just my relationship with my fiance but I completely understand why any marine would be upset by not deploying. That is what they have worked so hard for, that is what they spend months and months training for, that is where the honor of being a marine comes from. If he does not deploy he knows that everything he has worked for has been for practically nothing. Yes he is still a marine and is still an amazing man I'm sure but it just upsets me that this girl seems completely non supportive of her boyfriend. I actually feel a little offended by it. As a marine girlfriend, fiance, and especially wife I believe that it is crucial that we stand by our men no matter what their decisions are. We don't question deployments we just accept them and do our best to get through them and get our men safely home knowing that we are still right where they left us. Many of us have been with our men long before the marines were even in the picture so we are that much more faithful. SEMPER FIDELIS does not just mean always faithful to our men, it means always faithful to our corps. Not just our men are faithful we have to be too. We have to take everything they get handed with our heads up and our hopes high because if we start to question why our man would want to go on deployment things start to crash. I mean can any of you think to actually have to ask the question to your marine "Why do you want to deploy?" I mean yes it's dangerous but IT"S THE MARINES! You aren't dating a civilian anymore. Suck it up and start being a supportive girlfriend and stop making us look bad. Oh and if you happen to read this because I'm sure you know who you are, stop posting how wonderful it is that he might not deploy. Yes you will get to have him to yourself more, but at what price? One less marine to protect your freedom.

I'm sure we would all love not to have to worry about whether our men are going to be safe overseas. I know I would be ecstatic not to have to worry about him but that's not the problem. I started out as a regular "civilian" fiance. Now I am my MARINE'S fiance. That is a totally different boat. I don't like the idea that he will have to deploy but then I think about why he is doing it. He is not only protecting our country but each of our men are protecting each of us. As it says in John 15:13 "Greater love has no one known, than he who lay down his life for his friends." I mean come on. Only the military girlfriends, fiances, and wives get to say that the man they love really would lay down his life for us. Yes it scares the shit out of me thinking about it but I know my marine is trained well and I have faith that he will come home safe. This blog started as me being extremely angry at this girl but really I can't be angry. I understand why she is so happy but I think she needs to be able to understand why she shouldn't be. If you were dating a lawyer would you keep him from going to court because you would miss him? What if he was a doctor, would you keep him from surgery because of a chance you might not be alright while he is gone? Exactly.


sleep deprived...

If you ever have a morning class here is a little advice, GET SOME SLEEP! Normally I am pretty good about this sort of thing because I love to sleep. Well last night my friend Pat and I stayed up until 4:45. It started out just talking in our own dorms to each other and then it moved to going to the beach at 12:00 at night just for the hell of it. Then it went back to talking to each other at the dorms. We are the biggest procrastinators ever. It's kind of awesome. Anywhoooo...Do not give yourself 3 1/2 hours of sleep for a 3 hour morning class. I promise you it will be a pretty lousy decision.

Semper Fi<3

Thursday, July 23, 2009

keeping up

I was wondering how it is possible to stay physically fit in comparison to our marines. They are marines for god sake! I used to be slim and sexy but since I've been out of high school...well you know how that goes. I went from sports every day so nothing. I mean I work out every now and then but It's so tedious. There should be a secret weight loss, muscle toning pill that USMC girlfriends, fiances and wives get. Keeping up is just insanely impossible.
Well I have been quite lucky lately. I have started summer classes at my college and I walk EVERYWHERE! If I'm not walking I'm riding my bike. I get lots and lots of exercise, just not enough apparently. I get in a running mood every now and then but overall I just don't enjoy it. I am just not tone like I used to be and it scares the heck out of me thinking about what I'll look like in the future if I don't do something now. Do any of you girls have any secrets or tips? Maybe tips for motivation? Anything would be awesome.
I think it is just going to come down to kicking myself in the butt and forcing myself to do it. I have the will just not the drive haha. I am determined to get toned again. Bye bye flab helloooooo Fab!
My goal is going to be to loose 25lbs by Christmas. That is 5 months and 2 days as of today. I am 150lbs right now and I am not going to be satisfied until I am back down to a good 125. I can't believe I just posted my weight online. Oh well that's just another reality check for me.
Goals and a little determination feels good!

For any other ladies who feel inadequate after seeing their marines with their shirts off, LETS DO THIS! After all, why should they get to be the heroes AND be the hott ones?

Semper Fi<3

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Some serious Semper Fidelis

So this is my new tattoo. Fresh out of the studio. I got this done about 15 minutes ago. Jonathan knows I have been considering getting this done but he didn't know how serious I was. Let's cross our fingers and pray that he likes it!

Semper Fi<3

Monday, July 20, 2009

I love support.

So yesterday every girl I know got a call from their marines. Oh yea EXCEPT ME!!! Soooo unbelievably lame. Anyways, I am so glad that I am at college and not home because I just put on some flip flops and went down town to blow off some steam. I am actually really lucky because one of the guys that is in this summer class with me is in the army, he's a reservist. He understands my situation so he walked around all night with me trying to make me feel better. Did I mention that was our first day meeting?? No matter what branch they serve, military men are the best out there.
I also have to thank my favorite girls, Anna and Angela. You two are absolutely incredible. They knew I was feeling crappy and they kept saying everything I needed to hear and making sure I was ok. They are incredible and I really don't know what I would do without them. Their boyfriends were in my fiance's platoon in boot camp so I like to think we have a special bond :-)
They are my USMC sisters and I thank god for them every day.

I guess the moral of my story is that staying busy really does help but having people who are there for you is icing on top. You're not in this alone. We're the USMC family!

Semper Fi<3

Saturday, July 18, 2009


I have been up since 9 am and it is now 1:30. I procrastinated for a little bit and then started packing for college. 3 clothes bins, 4 storage crates, 1 storage ottoman, and a bunch of randomly places things and I am STILL not done. I never realized how hard this would be. Looks like I'm going to have to pack in the morning before I leave too. YAY! ughhhhh.

Semper Fi<3

Friday, July 17, 2009

Learning to live again...

When marine's are still in the beginning of their career the girlfriends, fiances, and wives are also still in the beginning. We have to learn to live without them by our side all the time. Girls who have a civilian boyfriend will NOT understand this. They think 2 hours apart is torture. They will never understand what it's like to try and act normal. Yes I said it. Marine girlfriends are not normal. We just get the task of acting like we are. We have to pretend everyday that we aren't breaking down little by little. We can't do spur of the moment activities because "OMG what if I don't have service there!!" Um yea I actually do that. GUILTY! Being pretty new to all of this I am still in the practice of keeping my cell phone glued to me and constantly clicking the button that makes the screen light up so I can see if I have any missed calls or texts. I'm pathetic and damn proud of it!
I'm moving slow but I am learning. Boot camp was difficult but MCT isn't a joy ride either. At least in boot I was positive I was going to get a letter once a week maybe once every 2 weeks. With MCT it's anyones guess as to whether I'll even get anything. BUT MCT is only 4 weeks long so I think over all it's a pretty good deal.
ANYWAYS.... I started writing this blog to tell you about my upcoming adventure and GIANT leap into my slow progression to normalcy. I am leaving Sunday to start college again. I did my associates at my local community college so I wasnt far away and I commuted to school. Now I am going 3 hours north into Burlington Vermont to attend Champlain College. It is only 3 weeks of summer classes but I will be living there and then coming back before I return again in the fall. I am SOOOO FRIGGIN NERVOUS!!!! I don't know if people will understand the marine life. I know a select few will because I know them already thank god. I am most nervous, well actually just uneasy about the fact that I am taking this big step and making this big change without Jonathan here to support me. I would be overjoyed by a simple phone call so that he knows for sure that I am going to be ok. I know that we are supposed to be their support system and Jonathan calls me his rock but still I know it must be killing him too that he can't be there for me. I can write him all the letters I please but because of all the rules he can't do the same for me.
I don't blame him at all. I just really wish he could be here for me and let me know it's all going to be ok. I have gotten so used to doing the same routine for so long that I am scared to change the slightest little thing let alone the entire environment I'll be in. For 5 months I have kept to myself and stayed with the familiar because I feel like I need to ease into this "marine lifestyle" but I think I have just been protecting myself from experienceing everything else out there. I guess what I am really trying to say is.... DAMNIT LET MY FIANCE MAKE A PHONE CALL HOME!!!!

ok well I got that out of my system. I hope that those of us who understand the USMC way of life understand what I'm feeling. I know I'll be ok I just need to make sure Jonathan knows that. The lack of communication is annoying.

Semper Fi<3

Missing him...

So Jonathan is currently at MCT until the 28th. I have only gotten 2 phone calls in the 3 weeks he has been there and they were both in the first weekend he was there. I know I'm just crazy but I can't help but get these thoughts that he isn't thinking about me. I know I'm being silly but It's hard when you don't hear from him when you thought you would. I really hope that I hear from him soon or I might start to believe myself. NOT. haha. As I was having these rediculous thoughts I realized that no matter if I hear from him or not I know he loves me and is missing me just as much as I miss him. I just have to remind myself that he is always going to be busy and I know that if he had time to write me he would.

sorry that this is a little bit of a vent but hey, a girl needs to vent every now and then.

Stay strong.
Semper Fi.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

we're Marines too...

Ok so here is something to think about. I read something recently that led to the impression that the women who stand by our marines are marines themselves. If you're thinking "I didn't go to bootcamp, I didn't go to war' or I didn't swear in to protect the nation" then think again.
Not every marine girlfriend has been through basic training but I'll explain this through my persepctive.
I didn't go through boot camp myself but half of who I am did. For 3 months my fiance was being broken down to be built into what the corps needed him to be. When he was being broken down so was I. When he was transformed into a marine I was transformed into a marine's fiance.
When Jonathan went to MCT he was being trained even more towards their goals and his. At home I was fine tuning my abilities at living the marine fiance lifestyle.
When Jonathan is home on leave I am also on leave. We both get leave from being away from eachother.
When our men go to war they are the ones fighting for our freedom there is no question in that, but we send our hearts with them. Our support and love keeps them going and their courage and commitment keeps us alive and fighting eachday.
Rank comes in to both of our lives as well. No, we can't be corporals or sargeants but we gradually move from Marine girlfriend, to marine fiance, and eventually to Marine wife.
They swear to protect our country and we swear to support and love them no matter how hard it gets.
No, technically we are not marines. We give up just as much as they do without the glory. I am so proud of everything my fiance does and for what all of the other marines do. They are the true heros.
Just remember, behind every hero is the love of his life telling him to keep going.

I'm not in this for the glory or the satisfaction. I just really appreciated someone saying this to me and I hope some of you can appreciate it as well.

He is my hero, but I'm his too<3

Semper Fi<3

Saturday, July 11, 2009


Rain is a confusing part of nature. It's just water. It doesn't hurt and unless it rains for 40 days and 40 nights it doesn't really harm anything. It's not like a tornado, or a lightning storm which could easily destroy things. It's just like a shower outside. So what is it about rain that replaces my exterior with my interior? What everyone sees with what I keep hidden? I get so angry when it rains because it is nothing and it makes me crumble. Rolling over in the middle of the night to find yourself on his pillow instead of yours with the scent of his cologne conquering every one of your senses...that should make a girl cry. Reading one of his letters where he wrote "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." THAT should make a girl cry. Knowing that if your man hasn't gone off to war yet he eventually will. THAT SHOULD MAKE A GIRL CRY! But rain? Stupid water that is only good for plants and smelly hobos, does not have the right to make me cry. Yet like clockwork every time it rains I can't help but let everything I've been keeping inside out. Every tear I hid when someone asked me if I've heard from you yet, every stab to the heart when a friend unconsciously says something like "It's been 2 whole hours since I've heard from so&so.", and every little ping I feel every night when I have to go to sleep without you by my side.

So yea, I'm not as tough as I'd like to be. I break down at the sight and sound of rain. It's raining right now and I'm crying my eyes out but if it weren't for the rain I think I would go crazy trying to be as strong as I needed to be. It's ridiculous to think that just because we are in love with a Marine that we have to be as strong as them. First of all they are men and men rarely cry. Secondly they are trained to be strong and do what they have to do no matter what. As the women who stand next to them the only thing we know how to do is stay strong in his eyes and break down in private. So whether it's the rain that makes you cry or the smell of his cologne just remember you're not alone. It's ok to let you're guard down and let all those built up feelings out. I'm writing about mine so that hopefully you'll feel better about yours.

We're still tougher than any other women out there whether we cry or not. We stand by the men we love no matter what they have to do or where they have to go. The things we have to sacrifice other women take for granted. We're part of the few, the proud, the marine girlfriends, fiances, and wives.

Semper Fi<3

Who decides who gets their wish at 11:11?

How many of you stare at the clock until 11:11 strikes? We'll you guys need to get a life. I don't stalk the clock until it's 11:11 but I do enjoy when I randomly catch it during the day or night. It's a thing Jonathan and I have always done. When he could use his phone he would always text me right at 11:11 saying "It's 11:11 guess what I wished for?" or "11:11 I wished for you<3." He was usually the first one to catch it but every now and then I got to be the first one. Our little wishes were silly and playful. Obviously he never needed to wish for me because he always had me but he knew I loved when he said things like that. Now my question is who decides who gets their wish at 11:11? Before Jon joined the marines I was ok with not getting my wish because I always wished for things I knew I would have. Now I wish for Jon's safety, to be able to see him again, for a simple phone call, but nothing. I don't cheat the system by stalking the clock all day. I actually randomly catch it. I guess if you don't believe in magic, fate, miracles, or destiny then you probably think I'm crazy. I know there are some of you that do understand that everyone needs a little magic in their lives even if it's a simple wish being granted. If you happen to catch a magical 11:11 make sure your wish counts. Make it something worthwhile because even if it doesn't come true, you'll feel better knowing you could have wished for a purple unicorn instead but decided not to.

Semper Fi<3

Friday, July 10, 2009

Getting creative

So I decided to get a little creative tonight. I've been meaning to make a frame with pictures of Jonathan and I for a while now so that I can take it to college with me. I originally planned on throwing a bunch of our pictures together on top of colored paper or something but while I was looking at paper I got a brilliant idea. Instead of using plain paper as a background I started with rows of the envelopes Jon sent his letters from boot camp in. There was about 3 rows of 6 in the back. On top of that I added my favorite letters that he sent me. He was always good at sending cute little sayings that made me smile so I wanted to be able to easily see them whenever I needed a good cheering up. Next I added our pictures. I found cute little stickers and put them throughout and added our names to the top.

Now whenever I look at the pictures of us I see the story too. I don't just enjoy looking at him but I get to experience all the feelings he sent me in his letters. I was extremely proud of myself for this :-) I'm about as artistically capable as a kindergartner so when I put this together I couldn't help but want to share it.

Feel free to share some of your creativity. I love hearing new ideas.

Semper Fi<3

This isn't mine I just thought it should be shared.

About being a Marine's girl...

It's knowing in your heart that even though the distance is far your closer in heart than most couples who see eachother every day.
It's living off his pictures, his favorite songs, "our" songs, the smell of his cologne on his jacket or little things he's given you and especially his letters and phone calls.
It's trying to relive every single little detail of your memories together. His cute little side smile, his gorgeous eyes, the way he kisses you, holds you, holds your hand and looks at you.
It's being so strong on the outside and trying to go all day long, but laying in your bed at night or making dinner and you just start crying cause you miss him so much.
It's the start of becoming a family bigger than you could have ever imagined, of having people by your side that you've never even met before, but friendships much stronger.
It's a sense of pride not only for your man, but for your country, for other men and women, for all the people who have, are and will serve and take on this life.
It's knowing that there are women who have walked through your shoes and made it through and giving you the strength to get up and keep going when you feel like you can't.
It's going to school, watching the kids, working, cleaning the house, making dinner, doing laundry, going to church but missing and thinking of him every second of the day.
It's knowing that no matter how many of your friends or family members say it's ok I understand, it's knowing they really don't but they care about you more than you know.
It's wanting to beat the crap out of anyone that says anything about the people that are serving our country that isn't a positive comment, but choosing not to and to represent our men.
It's realizing that this life we choose we can walk away from at any point, but choosing not to.
It's about having a bond, a connection, a relationship, a like, a love so strong that it's unbreakable, it's what other people look at and say "wow, I wish I had that."
It's trying not to cry when you read news about other women, whether it's bad or good just because your heart genuinely breaks for them or your genuinely happy for them.
It's taking complete advantage of every second you hear his voice, every letter you get, every minute you spend with him, every time he hold you or kisses you.
It's telling him about home to make him feel like he's here and telling him everythings ok while your silently trying not to cry or either crying while writing the letter.
It's also feeling a happiness beyond comparison knowing that someone is thinking of you, missing you and loving you as much as you are them.
It's a smile so big you think your face is gonna break from getting a letter and reading how he's missed you and not stopped thinking of you or hearing him say I miss you and I love you.
It's knowing that when your listening to your friends complain about not to talking to their man for an hour that you would give anything in the world to be able to have that.
Being a Marine's girl is much, much, much more than this.
It's a feeling of pride, joy, togetherness, family, love, lending a helping hand, staying up all night knowing somewhere someone else is doing the same thing.
It's something that you can try to explain and people get chills just listening to you because they know they'll never experience anything like that, but that it's a bond, a forging together of strong, strong women.
It's something that as best as we try to explain it we know they'll never understand, but that's ok cause there are people who do and smile, take our hand and say I know what you mean.
It's at the end of the day knowing that you've found someone who's worth the waiting, crying, worrying, smiling, staying strong for and ultimately saying I'm here for you baby.
This is just a very little bit of what it's like being a Marine's girl.
They are the one's who serve and protect our country. Their the one's who sacrifice so much to do what they do. Their the one's that are strong and do what no one else will do.
But we're the one's who serve and protect them. The one's who sacrifice so much so they can do what they do. The one's that are strong and do what no one else will do....
Being the girl of a Marine.

I don't know who wrote this or I'd give them full credit. This is an amazing, heartfelt piece and I'm thankful that one of my USMC sisters sent it to me.

Semper Fi<3

Thursday, July 9, 2009

First vs. Last...

On my drive home from work today I started thinking about the day I saw Jon for the first time in 3 months. After day dreaming for a little bit I switched thoughts to the last time I saw him before he got on his plane to MCT. My question for you is which moment would mean more; Your first moments in 3 months or your last moments for a very long time?

I remember how I felt when I first saw Jonathan. I talked a little about this already. I wasn't sure what I was going to feel or how I was going to react but once it all happened I was astounded at the intensity of it all. Seeing Jon for the first time is something I will remember forever. Just thinking about how I felt keeps me going every day.

On the other hand, saying goodbye is the toughest thing a marine girlfriend, fiance, or wife will ever have to do. You feel like crying but you hold it in because you know want his last picture of you to be of you being strong, not weak. Although it's tough it's something worth remembering. I mean think about it. Those last few moments are going to the what you have to motivate yourself to get out of bed every morning with. They need to live up to a lot. Those last few moments have to be incredible. Yes you're in an airport with a bunch of grumpy travelers so it's not the ideal romantic setting where as running to the love of your life with your arms open is pretty much top 5 most romantic things ever. As a marine you're trained to deal with what you have and make the best of it. Same goes for marine girlfriends, wives, and fiances. Jon picked me up and kissed me and let me tell you our kisses are like Disney World fireworks every time. (You know Disney has the best fireworks ever.)

Now that I've laied down some of what I feel I think that the 2 can't be put against each other. You're firsts are what keep you look forward to and you're lasts are what push you. They are both important and they are both amazing.

Feel free to agree or disagree. I'd love to hear some opinions :-)

Semper Fi<3

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

fortune cookie

I am borderline obsessed with fortune cookies. For those of you who do not know what a fortune cookie is, live a little. I don't even have to get Chinese food to get them. All of my friends and family members know that if they have Chinese they better bring me a cookie. I thought I would share with you my most recent fortune cookie since I believe it fits my life situation right now.

"Sometimes travel to new places leads to great transformation."

Yes, the english is awful. That is what you get for having small children typing these things out day and night. (jk. really jk.)

When Jonathan was at boot camp I would send him my fortunes all the time. They were usually rather inspiring and it made him feel like he was home pigging out with me like we always do. I actually got this fortune while he was home on leave. This really made me think. The obvious result would be Jonathan going away to boot camp and coming back a well mannered, fit marine. Even my going away to college would be a good stab at a transformation. However I took a different thinking path.
The new place that I traveled to was my own heart. I know what you're thinking, "Your heart has always been there, it's not new." My heart isn't new, my emotions and feelings are. I have always known that I love Jon and he loves me. Neither of us were prepared for how 3 months apart with minimal communication would change us mentally and emotionally.
Throughout the 3 months I was sure I was going to die. Imagine thinking you can have the one person you have always been able to turn to be a phone call away at his farthest and then doing a 180 and having him 900 miles away trapped on an island with only the option for communication being the us postal service. It's quite a life changing experience. I became more independent. When Jon was home I never had to make a decision he would always chose where we would go for dinner, what we would do that night, whose house we would be at and I loved that. While he was gone I was left to chose everything and it sounds a little stepford wifeish but it's not. Jonathan has always been a polite, loving, caring, and independent guy but after he came home from basic it was like comparing him to a civilian guy would be like putting Nicole Kidman next to Rosie O'Donnell. I feel awful saying this but civilian boys disgust me. I admit there are some decent ones out there but if you want the perfect boyfriend send him to USMC basic training. haha.
Forget all the little things though. The most surprising change both Jonathan and I went through was the deepening of our love and appreciation for eachother. I never thought in a billion years that I would be a marine Fiance and be waiting around until my man returned but let me tell you I wouldn't trade it for the world. The feelings that rushed through me when I saw Jon for the first time in 3 months were incredible. I was crying from the minute the huge door opened and the newest marines marched through to our first embrace. I have never been so proud, so overwhelmed with happiness, or so hysterical in my life.
Jonathan told me in one of his letters that he has a deeper love and appreciation for me. When I read those words I knew we were in this together. I don't need the pats on the back from people who "admire what we do." All I will ever need is to know that Jon understands what I'm going through and I understand how hard it is for him too. We support eachother and push eachother to keep going. The 3 month's of hell turned out to be the best thing that could ever happen to us.

That's an awful lot to get from a fortune cookie huh?

Semper Fi<3

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A little bit about me.

I should probably introduce myself. My name is Breanna and I am head over heals in love with my marine. Jonathan and I met back in 2004. I was a freshman in high school and he was the big bad senior. Needless to say I had a crush immediately. I think all girls can understand the whats off limits is always desirable clause of crushing. We acknowledged each other in high school but it was never anything worth blushing about. When Jon graduated he went to the Nascar institute for college. We lost touch.
Randomly I got a friend request on myspace. This was the end of my sophomore year. Well I had no idea who he was because I didn't take the time to look at his picture so I though it was some creeper. It was a few months before he messaged me but then all of a sudden we were talking every day. Before we knew it we were in love and we hadn't even seen each other in 2 years. He moved home to take another job that was local. That's what he says but I like to think it was all for me. haha. We we're off and on for a little bit. I take full credit for that though. We dated my junior and senior year of highschool so I still had plenty of growing up to do. Eventually all the love I've always had for him just exploded inside and I knew that I needed to grow up or I would lose him.
We got engaged February 17, 2009. He took me to Cape Cod for a romantic weekend before he had to leave for boot camp. It was a complete surprise. After a bubble bath I came out of the bathroom and Jon was sitting on the bed. He was smiling but he looked nervous. I now know why. He came over to me and took my hands. He started just talking and shaking and he said you know I love you. I said I love you too. He said I love you more. (This is our usual argument haha.) I said prove it, which I always say. This time after I said prove it he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him! I said yes and couldn't stop smiling the rest of the night. It was the most romantic thing he has ever done.
Well now we are just about 5 months into our engagement and just about the same into Jonathan's new Marine career. We have not set a date for the wedding yet but we know it will be right after I finigh my bachelor degree. We're hoping in about 2 years at the very latest. Keep reading my blog and I'll keep you posted! Maybe you'll even get an invite! :-)