Wednesday, July 8, 2009

fortune cookie

I am borderline obsessed with fortune cookies. For those of you who do not know what a fortune cookie is, live a little. I don't even have to get Chinese food to get them. All of my friends and family members know that if they have Chinese they better bring me a cookie. I thought I would share with you my most recent fortune cookie since I believe it fits my life situation right now.

"Sometimes travel to new places leads to great transformation."

Yes, the english is awful. That is what you get for having small children typing these things out day and night. (jk. really jk.)

When Jonathan was at boot camp I would send him my fortunes all the time. They were usually rather inspiring and it made him feel like he was home pigging out with me like we always do. I actually got this fortune while he was home on leave. This really made me think. The obvious result would be Jonathan going away to boot camp and coming back a well mannered, fit marine. Even my going away to college would be a good stab at a transformation. However I took a different thinking path.
The new place that I traveled to was my own heart. I know what you're thinking, "Your heart has always been there, it's not new." My heart isn't new, my emotions and feelings are. I have always known that I love Jon and he loves me. Neither of us were prepared for how 3 months apart with minimal communication would change us mentally and emotionally.
Throughout the 3 months I was sure I was going to die. Imagine thinking you can have the one person you have always been able to turn to be a phone call away at his farthest and then doing a 180 and having him 900 miles away trapped on an island with only the option for communication being the us postal service. It's quite a life changing experience. I became more independent. When Jon was home I never had to make a decision he would always chose where we would go for dinner, what we would do that night, whose house we would be at and I loved that. While he was gone I was left to chose everything and it sounds a little stepford wifeish but it's not. Jonathan has always been a polite, loving, caring, and independent guy but after he came home from basic it was like comparing him to a civilian guy would be like putting Nicole Kidman next to Rosie O'Donnell. I feel awful saying this but civilian boys disgust me. I admit there are some decent ones out there but if you want the perfect boyfriend send him to USMC basic training. haha.
Forget all the little things though. The most surprising change both Jonathan and I went through was the deepening of our love and appreciation for eachother. I never thought in a billion years that I would be a marine Fiance and be waiting around until my man returned but let me tell you I wouldn't trade it for the world. The feelings that rushed through me when I saw Jon for the first time in 3 months were incredible. I was crying from the minute the huge door opened and the newest marines marched through to our first embrace. I have never been so proud, so overwhelmed with happiness, or so hysterical in my life.
Jonathan told me in one of his letters that he has a deeper love and appreciation for me. When I read those words I knew we were in this together. I don't need the pats on the back from people who "admire what we do." All I will ever need is to know that Jon understands what I'm going through and I understand how hard it is for him too. We support eachother and push eachother to keep going. The 3 month's of hell turned out to be the best thing that could ever happen to us.

That's an awful lot to get from a fortune cookie huh?

Semper Fi<3

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