Rain...

Rain is a confusing part of nature. It's just water. It doesn't hurt and unless it rains for 40 days and 40 nights it doesn't really harm anything. It's not like a tornado, or a lightning storm which could easily destroy things. It's just like a shower outside. So what is it about rain that replaces my exterior with my interior? What everyone sees with what I keep hidden? I get so angry when it rains because it is nothing and it makes me crumble. Rolling over in the middle of the night to find yourself on his pillow instead of yours with the scent of his cologne conquering every one of your senses...that should make a girl cry. Reading one of his letters where he wrote "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you." THAT should make a girl cry. Knowing that if your man hasn't gone off to war yet he eventually will. THAT SHOULD MAKE A GIRL CRY! But rain? Stupid water that is only good for plants and smelly hobos, does not have the right to make me cry. Yet like clockwork every time it rains I can't help but let everything I've been keeping inside out. Every tear I hid when someone asked me if I've heard from you yet, every stab to the heart when a friend unconsciously says something like "It's been 2 whole hours since I've heard from so&so.", and every little ping I feel every night when I have to go to sleep without you by my side.

So yea, I'm not as tough as I'd like to be. I break down at the sight and sound of rain. It's raining right now and I'm crying my eyes out but if it weren't for the rain I think I would go crazy trying to be as strong as I needed to be. It's ridiculous to think that just because we are in love with a Marine that we have to be as strong as them. First of all they are men and men rarely cry. Secondly they are trained to be strong and do what they have to do no matter what. As the women who stand next to them the only thing we know how to do is stay strong in his eyes and break down in private. So whether it's the rain that makes you cry or the smell of his cologne just remember you're not alone. It's ok to let you're guard down and let all those built up feelings out. I'm writing about mine so that hopefully you'll feel better about yours.

We're still tougher than any other women out there whether we cry or not. We stand by the men we love no matter what they have to do or where they have to go. The things we have to sacrifice other women take for granted. We're part of the few, the proud, the marine girlfriends, fiances, and wives.

Semper Fi<3