Fairy God Mother

Wouldn't it be awesome to actually have a fairy god mother? She could swoop in whenever you needed help or were wishing so hard for something to come true and poof, make it happen.

I know I need to stop stressing about whether or not my husband will be home when Abigail is born but I can't. It's just so awful to think about. We give and give in every aspect of our lives to the military, why can't they just give us a break for once?

I don't know how it's even possible to have as much bad timing as we do. January 22nd our lease on this house is up. We have to see if we can stay here monthly until March most likely. The problem with that is that we know that the people who own the house are getting a divorce and the word is that their cousin is going to be moving into this house. We just don't know when. So we are waiting to hear news on that.  Our other option is to move back to Topsail where we first lived almost a year ago just for the end of January, February and possibly into March. That would be easier on us because the place is furnished so we can put everything into storage that isn't coming back to NY with me which will make moving after the baby a whole lot easier. Plus, we would have an extra bedroom fully furnished for my mom when she comes down. Right now we have an extra bedroom but no bed so kind of pointless.

The problem with that option is that we don't know if they will allow us to come back since our dog is now over 45 lbs. Even though he is the most well behaved dog I have ever met and wouldn't be a problem what so ever. Hopefully we will see soon.

That is bad timing number 1. Bad timing number 2 is Jonathan deploying, as of right now in what looks like, the last week of February. He seems pretty positive on it but we all know the military and how they like to switch things up at the last minute.

This is horrible timing because our baby girl, our first child, is due March 8. Yea. Seriously. Cutting it that close makes me miserable thinking about it.

My mom will be here for the birth so it's not that I'm worried about going through it alone. I'm just extremely sad that there is a really good possibility that my husband wont be there to see her before he deploys.

I feel like my life is turning into a lifetime movie.

After Abigail is born I plan on moving back to NY. Hopefully within 3 weeks of her being born. My mom, MIL, and grandma have all agreed to come down here to help me move home which I'm so thankful for. We just need to decide the best method of doing that which is another stressful thing to think about.

Not only do I have to worry about my husband deploying for the first time, for a whole friggin year btw, but also about giving birth to our first baby without him. That is way too much on one plate. Seriously.

I know that other women have gone through a deployment and given birth to their baby while their husbands are over seas. How the heck do you do it?

Part of me wants to just move back to NY right now and just focus on having Abigail there where I know I can focus on her after she's born instead of having to move 13 hours north with her.

The sane part of me knows that my husband is here and I need every spare minute I can get with him before he leaves me for a year.

This would be so much easier if our lease wasn't up a month before my husband deploys. Or if I had a fairy god mother to make everything all better.

I know this was a huge pitty party but it helps to leave some stress in this blog.

Thanks for reading.