Saturday, March 26, 2011

Small town, small people.

First of all let me make it very clear that I love my family and being around them, especially during this deployment and with baby girl. With that said here comes the rest of this post.

I HATE IT HERE!

I live in a super small town where you can leave for years at a time and once you come home everything and everyone is exactly the same. I don't know how I forgot this fact, or maybe I just convinced myself that people would actually grow up and better themselves. Well they didn't.

I have only seen 3 of my friends from before I moved since I've been here. I swear it was like stepping back in time. They are still in the same stages of life that they were when I left. That's not a problem though. People progress at different stages I suppose.

The problem is all of the small town drama around here. It's like I come home and instead of going to college I went to middle school or high school.

I mean seriously, I should not be this nervous to go out in public and run into someone I graduated with or anyone for that matter. People know me even if I don't know them. Heaven forbid I go out to the post office quick in my sweat pants and a pony tail and someone sees me. Then within an hour everyone thinks I'm depressed and helpless because my husband is deployed. Give me a friggin break. I have a baby who doesn't let me sleep at night let alone give me the time to look pretty to go to the darn post office.

The one thing I was really looking forward to having while I was home was a complete disconnect from anything military. I don't like seeing the big billboards down by base that say welcome home or all of the signs either. It's a depressing thing when you know you still have a good year before your husband is coming home.

Unfortunately I can come all the way back to this tiny little town in NY and still run into not just military insignia, but actual marines and marine reminders. I don't mind running into marines. It's kind of sweet since the one I did see was clearly straight out of boot camp. It kind of made me giggle because he looked so excited and proud with his eagle globe and anchor sweat shirt. I just don't want to be in a sad mood and then see military couples together. Makes me want to throw up just thinking about it.

I know, I'm a debby downer. I have permission, from myself.

Anyways, rolling back in to make my point, it sucks that I can't even come home to a town that has no idea what it's like to be in our position and still get crap for it. It's one thing when you are surrounded my marine wives, you are guaranteed to get judged on your progress throughout this deployment as well as advice whether you want it or not. But being home where people don't even know the difference between the army and the marine corps? Who would have thought.

I have seriously been told that people think I just put on a happy face while I'm in public but that I really bawl my eyes out constantly while at home. Yes ignorant people of Fonda. I keep a smile on to please you and then I come home and immediately start crying and don't stop for, oh let's say 6 or 7 hours. I'm just so depressed, wah.

Give me a break. I get to talk to my husband at least once a day on the phone and lately it's been multiple times on the internet as well. He has a desk job he's not infantry. If you are going to tell people how I'm feeling and acting at least give me some damn credit and don't make me sound like I'm a wife of a WWII marine.

Ah. I feel better. I love this blog. It's like my fingers are magical stress relievers.


6 comments:

  1. This actually made me laugh, but not like laughing at you. It went the same way with me. I've lived in the same town or surronding towns my whole life, and it's still ALL middle school and high school drama. I have 3 younger sisters who have friends over all the time, and the same friends at that, and when we talk about my man they always say stuff about Army..well I have nothing against the Army but I've told them plenty of times he's in the Marines, but then they just say "Oh same thing". Oh if only they knew..I feel ya girl!

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  2. I can so relate to your situation. Where I'm from everyone knows everyone and your business too whether you like it or not. It gets very annoying and I am so glad I am moving back out towards Camp Pendleton in 2 days to get away from all the drama that happens in this small city. Keep your head up, time will fly by =)

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  3. Wow! That kind of reaction would drive me crazy! I am from a relatively bigger city area, Tampa, FL, but I still think I would get drama from old friends as well.

    I was in college while my husband was away training for 7 months and everyone thought I was sitting at home, not eating or sleeping, just crying non stop... I mean COME ON. And I really can't stand when people try to talk about it with you like, "hey, does the army even let him call you?" First of all he is a Marine... get it right. Second of all, it's training, not Vietnam, yes I get phone calls. I think that is why when my husband goes on his first deployment I will no be going home, for the entire time at least.

    Also, I am glad you are able to talk with him often. My husband also has a desk job, and it is nice to know that they are able to get in touch with you when they can.

    And I love my blog too. I love getting out feeling and interacting with other wives. Vent away girl!!

    (sorry I wrote a book)

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  4. I know what you mean by the small town people. It and they never change. Keep your beautiful head up girl,like you are doing, and let them talk. You have a great family :)

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  5. I know exactly how you feel about the people that don't understand the military. Granted, Brandon isn't deployed and I applaud you sooo much for you strength!, but he's at drill this weekend and I had someone say, "Oh he's off playing soldier for the weekend?" ...Really??

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  6. OMG. Nicole that might be the worst comment I've heard. That person is an incompetent ass.

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