Well, we found a way. I can't help but be sad lately. I mean come on, my husband is deployed and I have a new baby. I think I have a reason. Anyways, apparently I was acting miserable and when my husband asked me why I was being so miserable I said I didn't know I was just sad. He then said ok well I can't help you then and I replied with I didn't ask you to help me. And that's where it gets messy.
Anyways, long story short... He was pissed that I was miserable and I was pissed that he decided not to talk to me for a couple hours.
This turned into way bigger of an issue than it needed to be which really upset me. I've had it in my mind that we weren't going to fight because there couldn't possibly be anything to fight about... I was wrong. I wasn't just wrong I was shocked. I would understand a normal argument but this was over something so ridiculous.
I get so scared arguing with him because I never know when, or heaven forbid if, I'll talk to him again. I don't want the last thing we say to each other to be something negative. I know I'm being crazy but I can't help it.
I honestly think that there is no reason to ever argue anyways. Sure people make mistakes and disagree but I think that everything can be talked out without serious arguments or being negative towards one another. But when it comes to arguments during a deployment, they just shouldn't exist. Am I crazy?
as sad as it is, i think fights are just part of deployments.. stress is already high and even though you are so stoked and happy to be talking if something "wrong" is said from either one of the two parties you really can't help it! i don't really have any advice, just wanted you to know that it's pretty normal... during my two deployments we had our fair share of stupid fights and after talking to my friends they all said the same thing..
ReplyDeleteYea I would have to agree. Now that I think about it every time we are separated we argue over the dumbest things.
ReplyDeletemy bf and i argued several times while he was deployed, it sucks because he's so far away, and like you said you never know what can happen. and it was usually over stupid little stuff. just keep your head up girl and remember this is just making your relationship stronger.
ReplyDeleteI dont really have any advice either but I agree, I think fights are normal, even during deployment.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend is on a fast attack sub so his deployment was different. When they arent in port there are sometimes email, which you kind of cant fight in (it would get censored out) but no phone calls. So when he would pull into port I would think "awesome, we can finally talk" but even still there was one port where we got into a huge fight. I came to find out that in that port a bunch of guys from his boat got in trouble with their wives.
It sucks but life is still going on and it will happen. Just try and work out the fight the best you can, if possible.
No you aren't crazy. I completely understand. My husband is sitting in Okinawa right now waiting out the rest of the deployment to get home. Which is completely pointless, i think he should be able to go ahead and come home. But we argued lastnight because he chose to go play football for two hours 30 minutes before we usually skype and he didn't make time to send me an email to let me know he'd be late. So I sit up til 1 am waiting to talk to him and then he acts like nothing is wrong and that I have no reason to be upset. He tells me he knew what would happen and i told him i would have been fine with his playing football with the other guys if he would have just sent me an e-mail at some point to let me know so I could have been taking a nap, I've had the stomach virus since about noon yesterday. So then our conversations end on a bad note because we argued the whole time. I HATE it when he does that. I don't ask him to call me for us to argue. I ask him to call me so we can talk and laugh and tell eachother how much we miss and love eachother. Men.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been through a deployment, but with all the schooling and training, I have had my share of fights through phone calls. Like fights where we hang up on each other, or I cry myself to sleep. You know things that just aren't necessary at all. But with deployments I can see fighting making things worse - not knowing when he will get the chance to call again can really weigh on you, I'm sure. But believe it happens to everyone once in a while. We are human, and he have emotions. And with a phone call as the only way to communicate, things can be taken the wrong way... FAST.
ReplyDeleteHope your nights gets better. I am sure you will hear from him soon and everything will be fine. :)
You are not crazy, it just happens sometimes! I am sorry you have been sad and I hope you have a great weekend with your precious little baby!
ReplyDeleteWe fought all the time when my hubs was deployed. It never lasted long, and it was never about anything serious! It's suck a stressful situation and you have so much more responsibility,it's bound to happen!
ReplyDeleteI agree; I don't think there's any good reason to argue while they are deployed but it is bound to happen given the amount of stress we are under (especially with an adorable tiny baby to care for!) I started a little journal where if I am mad about something my Hubs said/did, I just vent it out there so I don't end up in a fight over the phone/gchat. I don't know if that's healthy haha but it works for me because usually I go back later, read it, and realize it wasn't a big deal :)
ReplyDeleteArguing during a deployment is never fun and I don't think should happen but it still does. Even though he is overseas you guys are still human and there will still be arguments while he's gone. It's normal to fight (me and my husband did) but just try to hash it out before the phone conversation ends so that there is not bad feelings afterward :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the comments above. I have felt like you.. My husband has been gone for 2 months now, but just for pre-deployment training. He leaves for his deployment soon and I tell myself that every time we talk I want it to be positive and to never end the conversation with anything but loving words. That is my goal, but I also can foresee the stress getting to both of us and things not always turning out how we hope. I just know that we love each other and that is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteThis is his third deployment (our first together) and I just hope it goes super fast. I think this will be the first summer in history that I've wished to go by fast.