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I'm a 20 something wife and mommy. This blog is about my life, my daily struggles and triumphs and anything I feel needs to be shared. It could get boring but hey, such is life.
Mr. Sykes
Abigail Yvonne
Bo
Take Me With You!
And Expat Girl doesn't have a button (Boo) but she is by far one of my favorites so here is her blog link. The Sand is Different Here
I know that Mr. M was thinking about volunteering this coming year and I honestly wouldn't know how to feel about that either. Is that what your hubby is thinking about doing?
ReplyDeleteMaybe talk to him about it and see what's going through his head. Maybe he has a good reason for it? I hope everything works out hun =)
He's not thinking about it. He has said that is what he will do if the opportunity arises. I can handle any deployment you throw my way that he is put on. When it comes to him CHOOSING to deploy, I am not so sure that settles right with me.
ReplyDeleteI've been there. At first I felt bad like..."why wouldnt you want to be home with us?" But now I fully understand....they are Marines for a reason...they want to be part of the action. We know a few Marines who have gotten out before ever being deployed and they feel totally cheated about it. When civilians ask..."have you been over there" and they say no...they feel inadequate. It's hard to swallow...I know. Remember...they didn't become Marines (especially in a time of war) to sit at a desk/do field exercises/ or just sport the uniform. Hope this helps a little : /
ReplyDeleteI actually have a post about this. This deployment was supposed to be my husbands last deployment, but it was cut short for him when he was shot multiple times in both legs and sent home to heal. He decided that he wants to extend his current contract for an extra year in order to deploy one more time. It was really hard to accept at first, why would anyone choose such a thing?! Especially after being wounded, how am I supposed to be okay sending him back to the place that hurt him? but I had to remind myself that this is what he joined for, to him there is no point in all the training if he never gets to use it. He would never expect me to give up on my carreer dreams and I couldnt expect him to do the same. All that being said, deployments are never easy, whether they chose to go, or are ordered to go. I hope you find the answers your looking for so that you can come to some sore of peace about your husbands decision.
ReplyDeleteI understand all of that. I get that this is their job and they need to deploy. What I am having a hard time with is why isn't it enough for them to deploy when they are told to? Why do they ALSO have to volunteer to go? Yea, the marine corps is their job, but so is being married and having a family. We are just as important and should be treated as such. I was told I came second to the marine corps and I assumed it was because he had to do that they say. I didn't realize it was because I don't mean as much to him anymore.
ReplyDeleteAww Mrs Sykes. I almost just cried at your last comment. Have you told him that his decision is making you feel second best? I really dont think that him chosing to go has anything to do with him not caring as much, but no one can explain his reasons better than him
ReplyDeleteIt makes me cry too. We've been talking about it but it just ends in a lot of head butting. I can't get anywhere with him. He doesn't understand how I feel no matter what I say.
ReplyDeleteI know we have discussed this but haven't encountered it yet. I would feel deserted but at the same time its like getting it out of the way for a bit...? I don't know. I'm sorry hun!
ReplyDeleteMy husband volunteered. I think I felt all of the different stages of any emotion every human ever experiences in the span of a month once he had orders in hand. And I felt the same thing too because his reasons were: career, experience, duty, etc. and I tried to figure out where we all fit into that puzzle. Plus I was pregnant and due a month before he left. While he's been gone I've gone through the full range of emotions over and over again. Gone from missing him, to not wanting him to return, back to looking forward to him returning. It's complicated, but at the same time you love him, and I'm sure he'll support you when the favor is needed on the return. Hang in there. Sorry, I wish I had better words for you.
ReplyDeleteRyan's first deployment was volunteer. It is hard to wrap your brain around but it was something he had to do. He joined for the purpose of being able to deploy. A lot of guys feel like if they are in and don't deploy that they're missing out or not doing what they signed up to do. If Ryan hadn't volunteered there was a chance he would never go. It is just how the guys think. It was so hard to accept but I was with him knowing that risk. I am sorry I don't have more I can say to help you but I am here if you ever want to talk. Good luck.
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