Sunday, April 10, 2011

Oh just this and that.

I am being spoiled. Extremely spoiled. So much so that I almost feel bad about it...almost.

No, it has nothing to do with how much money is spent on me or anything materialistic.

I'm being spoiled with communication.

I'm knocking on wood for even saying this out loud but I get to talk to my husband at least once a day. Usually for hours or so at a time. I know this is extremely rare during a deployment which is why I knocked on wood.

I don't know how I would get through this without talking to him. I know that if he were infantry it would be no where near this frequent. That is one thing I have always considered myself blessed for; That my husband is a POG and not a Grunt. Thankfully we were together when he joined the military or else he most likely would have been a grunt. I salute any wife of an infantry man. You are tougher than me by strides.

We have almost knocked a month off of this extremely long deployment. I am praying that things keep going this fast and are this "easy." Nothing about this deployment is easy obviously, but the communication makes it so much easier to get through my days without breaking down.

Unfortunately I know that I am very close to a break down. I feel awful even thinking about it knowing how fortunate I have been comparatively. What reason do I have to break down? I can't imagine being able to make this deployment much easier, minus getting to spend time physically together. I guess nothing is ever really enough though.

It's enough to keep me going but it's not enough to keep my heart from breaking whenever I think about how much he is missing. Every day Abigail gets bigger and little changes happen. He doesn't get to experience any of this except through pictures. What is the positive side of that? I've been trying to figure it out so I can focus on it but I end up with nothing.

This isn't even about me getting to see my husband. I would give up all of my communication with him this year in exchange for him getting to be with our daughter and enjoy her as much as I get to.

This is what is going to cause a break down. I feel it every time I look at her.

 One day

One month. 

3 comments:

  1. my marine is a grunt and his both of his deployments we have been fortunate to talk almost everyday. i dread his next deployment because i know it wont be anything like the past 2. im happy for you, that makes deplyoments so much easier. oh and i love the one month pic, she is adorable!! i hope you have a wonderful day :)

    stephanie.nicole09@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am glad communication has been good. Your baby girl is beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had posted this you know awesome comment and of course I forgot to type in the little word thing. Anyways!

    My husband and I sometimes get to talk up to four times a week and then sometimes nothing for two weeks. My husband just deployed when our Daughter was a month and a half old she just turned four months. So I am completely in the same boat. Sometimes I look and cry at my daughter (oh so pathetic I Know) because I feel so bad on what she and my husband are both missing out on. At the same time I can only imagine how lucky I am to get to be here for everything even if he can't see these little changes in her...It still breaks my heart.

    So if you ever want to trade mushy stories about babies/hubbies you can email me @ dramahuman@gmail.com and/or just hit me up on my blog.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for commenting! I love reading your opinions, love, and support. I'm working at getting better at replying to each one of you. If you don't have your email linked to your account feel free to leave it so I can reply. Thanks! :-)