Exhaustion

My husband asked me if I was getting annoyed by him being around today. I didn't realize just how crabby I have been lately. He said that I have been distant lately. I haven't said I love you as much and he feels like I don't want to be around him.

I felt horrible :-( Of course I love being around him! He's my everything. My problem is that I don't sleep anymore. I don't sleep anymore because I'm NEVER comfortable. I'm never comfortable because my back always hurts and I have cramps or my legs hurt. Between the complete exhaustion and constant discomfort I've lost any and all happiness. Basically I'm miserable and I didn't even realize how bad I let it get.

After he said that I thought about how I've been acting and I realized that I just sit on the couch and instead of talking to my husband I just think about how everything hurts and how I wish we had more comfortable furniture or that I could take medicine to get rid of the pain. I guess I take it out on him because not only is he the only other person in the house but I kind of sort of hate that he doesn't have to go through any of this  and I have to constantly suffer. It's really not fair at all.

Not to mention I married a guy who doesn't show emotion all too often so when I would love for him to show me how excited he is all the time by the simplest things he doesn't. I know it's just his personality but the hormones are taking over and it's starting to really get to me. Before we got pregnant he always talked about how he can't wait to have a baby and start a family and now that we are it's like he's ignoring it or something.

I guess if I wanted a more emotional person I should have married a girl. Men are so complicated.

But anyways, this is the start of my attempt to not let the discomfort and exhaustion get to me. I can't let it make my husband think I can't stand him. That's just awful.

I really might have to consider a different sleeping situation though. If I finally fall asleep at night I am ALWAYS woken up with my husband grinding or chomping his teeth directly in my ear. I swear I almost pushed him out of the bed last night. I just don't understand how I can stay in one area all night and he has to move so much! If he's not moving he's snoring or talking or chomping or grinding. I'm starting to lose my mind at night. I think it didn't bother me before because I could easily sleep through it. Now I can barely fall asleep all night let alone over and over again because he constantly has to wake me up.

Twin beds? haha.

I Love You Mr. Sykes<3 I swear I do, you just drive me nuts at night<3
You too Little Sykes<3

Semper Fi<3