My weekend.

This weekend was absolutely awful and then really great. I posted a little while ago about how my husband seems incapable of being able to use patience with me and how our communication stinks. Well it finally turned into a huge battle.

It started out with the dress event. I didn't expect to be gone all day. Maybe 2 hours tops but not like 6 hours. That apparently upset my husband in some way so by the time I got home he was in defense/payback mode. I got home around 4 and we barely talked from then until 7 or 8ish when he decided to go to the neighbors for a fire.

Well that annoyed me because he had a fire with them the night before and I didn't attend because the idea of sitting in a lawn chair made me want to cringe. (Pregnancy is doing a number on my ability to be comfortable anywhere). We hadn't seen each other all day and I thought the only reason we weren't talking once I got home was because he was watching football. Apparently I was wrong. But anyways, he went across the street with captain morgan in one hand and beer in the other leaving me livid.

So what did I do? Complained to my mom of course. I should have known when he asked me to buy coke at the grocery store that there was going to be some drinking going on this weekend.

Anyways, into the good stuff. Earlier he had made a comment along the lines of I didn't want to go to the fire because it's a huge headache for me to be social or something like that. That ticked me off because I assumed he should have known it was the fact that I can't sit on a couch and be comfortable there was no way I was going to suffer  for 4 hours outside in a lawn chair. BUT he's a man and doesn't think like we do.

So when he got over there he text me saying there are lots of people here you should come. I said no I'm good. Then I asked him to be quiet when he got home because he slams doors when hes sober and I didn't want to think of how bad he would be trashed. He said ok and was nice about it.

I then asked him if he wouldn't mind trying to sleep in the spare room to see if that made a difference in how I slept at night. That pretty much started it all. He didn't understand that it was because I can't sleep with him in the same bed because of his habits. He took it as the beginning to the end of our marriage.

After that it turned into a huge argument and I could tell with every text that he was getting drunker and drunker. That made me madder and madder. I was telling him what we need to work on and that he is an awful drunk and he told me that I should just leave since I am going to leave him on deployment anyways. STOP RIGHT THERE. That was my last straw. That made me so angry.

He said a lot of things that I knew he was only saying because he was drunk which stinks. It ended with him coming home and slamming all of the doors. I got up out of bed and went into the spare room to yell at him. That led to me grabbing his cell phone and chucking it at the wall and walking out. I then packed my suitcase of clothes and was fully prepared to leave. I should probably add that the things he said that I knew he didn't mean, well actually I was wondering if he really meant it at this point, was telling me to just leave over and over again.

So I was packing and he came in to stop me. I should mention I have never been that angry in my life. I have never thrown anything or raised my hand or anything along those lines. I am still embarrassed about how angry I let myself get the other night.

I ended up collapsing on the bathroom floor balling my eyes out and he came in to held me. I did fight him at first to let me go but I gave in after a while. It all ended with both of us sitting on our bed crying and talking.

He pointed out how this always happens with us. We always get to a point where we can't stand one another anymore and we just lash out. In the past we just left but each time we have been slowly getting stronger through it. I think this was our final realization that something needs to change. We actually talked and discussed what we need to work on to fix this.

We both have a problem with letting each other know when something is bothering us at the time it's bothering us. That is a huge issue we are going to fix now. Another one is him opening up to me a little more. He doesn't show his emotions and it leaves me wondering way too much. Also, his patience. Obviously mine too but I have been using all of my patience that is why I snapped so badly. I had none left.

Our biggest problem is communication. We are aware of it and hopefully going to work on it. We have talked about it before but never really done anything about it but I feel really good about it this time.

Anyways, if you made it all the way through this thank you for reading. I wrote this to hopefully make someone aware of their problems too. We both really hate that we let it escalade to what it became and I hope that before you let it get there you think of this and remember to step back take a breath and just talk!

Talking is so important.

I love my husband with everything I have. He really is an amazing person and an awesome husband. We just have some things to work on.

I Love You Mr. Sykes<3
You too Little Sykes<3

Semper Fi<3