Sunday, May 29, 2011

Memorial Day Celebrations

Every Memorial Day weekend my husband's family has their reunion. Last year neither of us made it and the year before it was just me...same as this year. We are yet to make it to one together which makes it hard. I love his family and seeing them always makes me happy. It's just hard to not have my husband with me because these are the things we are supposed to be sharing.

I'm really hoping that next year we will be able to go together. I like to think that I am strong but just seeing red, white and blue makes my heart sting. So you can imagine it's a pretty hard time right about now.

I'm filled with emotions and I'm completely amazed I can keep them all in. I have extreme pride in our country and our military, even more pride in my husband, complete sadness, sooo much love, but mostly it feels like someone is punching me in the throat constantly trying to get me to cry.

I just want this all to be over with. I want my husband back and our family to be together. For now I'm looking forward to R&R which is coming up in the next couple months. Then again I know that I have to give him back and go through all of these stages again.

Oh and this will sound completely horrible but the last thing I want to do while my husband is in a war zone is think about how many people have given their lives for this country. I am honored, proud and beyond thankful but it makes my skin crawl with the possibility and I can't add that to my emotional wrecking ball right now.

Stay positive and be thankful. (repeat 100 times a day)

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