Memory

I have a horrible memory. If I didn't know better I would think I was born maybe a couple years ago. I don't remember being a kid except for some events or details here and there. Nothing impressive. 

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just normal and people exaggerate when they say things like they knew exactly what someone was wearing when they first met or they can still hear someones voice. Things like that. 

I know one thing I have never been able to do is visualize people. I could never describe to you what someone looks like. When I try and picture anyone's face it's just a blur. It's so strange. 

All I can think about is when I was like 17, maybe a little younger, I took a pretty nasty fall snowboarding. I hit the back of my head really hard. Maybe it caused some sort of concussion or something. I had a scan though and nothing showed up. 

I really wish I knew if I just really suck at remembering things or if I did something to get this way because it's really horrible. I hate that Mr. Sykes can remember so many things about our relationship and I have to try so hard at it. I wonder if it's like learning a language? If you don't use it, or think about it, then it goes away? 

That hardly makes sense though. I think my memory also plays a huge role in my personality. Since I don't remember things I forgive extremely easily. I remember things when I'm hurt badly but I don't remember specific details that well. 

Maybe I just suppress things without realizing it. 

I'm just really jealous of people who can be like "Remember in kindergarten when we did this, this and this?" My long term memory is shot.