Friday, May 13, 2011

What hurts the most...

Going through this deployment there have been certain things that put me in a horrible mood. Usually it's something like every single person I run into asking me how I am and how my husband is. Or someone just simply asking me how I am. I hate that. I'm always fine until someone asks me if I'm ok. Leave me alone people. What do you honestly expect me to say? Do you think I'll say "I'm just peachy! My husband is deployed and I'm not the least bit sad."? Obviously I'm not ok. I'm never going to be ok as long as my husband is in a war zone. Just quit with the questioning.

Oh, and no I will not go into detail as to what my husband does and is doing. I've gone over my limit for patience now. I used to explain his job and now if someone asks I just say he loads helicopters. That's all they really care to know anyway I'm sure and I'm sooo tired of explaining it.

Other than annoyances like those though there is one thing that really made me sad. It's going to sound incredibly selfish but hearing about another wive's husband coming home made me miss mine even more.

Don't get me wrong though. I am always EXTREMELY happy for other wive's when they get their husband home. It's not that I'm angry. It's just that it reminds me how far I still have to go. Once it gets closer I'm sure it will be more exciting for me but 10 months still seems so far away.

When I saw her good news I was initially super excited and happy for her. Then once I realize that I still have 10 months before that incredible moment I just wanted to ball my eyes out. I miss him so much.


2 comments:

  1. I was always bitter hearing that other people were experiencing homecoming even though I was still happy for them.

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  2. Yeah, I hate the reminder of how long you still have, but even if we're not super stoked it's important not to make our friends feel like crap just because we do. You know you'll want their support and excitement when it's your time, right? It sucks, but it's life and for me I always seem to be on opposite deployment cycles as my friends so when my hubby leaves they're getting theirs back and it blows! But, at least it gives me someone to call when my car won't start!;)

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